Monday, June 18, 2012

flaking

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a couple of years ago one of my friends told me i was flakey. i was so offended, until i thought about it and realized it was true. i had/have a bad habit of trying to please people and  i would commit to things that i couldn't follow through with. i would constantly cancel at the time i should have been meeting someone, or tell people i was on my way when i was not even close to being there.

not only is it a horrible reputation to be labeled a flake, but have you ever had anyone change plans on you? it is not fun at all! after reading this post this morning, i thought i would share some tips that i used to change (errr...well i still have my moments)



  • keep a calendar: this is number one, you must be organized! its easy to flake on people when you cannot even remember you were supposed to do something with them. when you make a commitment write it in your calendar/phone/planner--whatever you want, then check that before making new plans. this will keep you from forgetting plans and double booking yourself.
  • its ok to say maybe: if someone offers you an invitation and you are not sure if you can or want to do it-- say maybe. there are some situations where this is not possible, but it works really well for informal group activities. this way there are no expectations of your attendance.
  • just do it: when i was younger i never, ever wanted to go to dance class, but once i got there it wasn't that bad; in fact, i kind of liked it. you probably feel this way too, like about going to the gym. if your having trouble getting off the couch on friday night to go to the party you rsvped to...just do it. most of the time you will end up having fun, and if you don't you can always stay a couple hours and leave.
  • apologize: if you must cancel, always apologize. even if you think you gave enough notice or have a good reason. you don't know what the other person gave up to keep the appointment or they may be more upset than you think that you cannot come. you do not need to grovel, but you should always apologize for canceling plans.
  • be honest: be genuine and honest about why you are canceling. a friend will see through a lie and it will make them that much more annoyed with you. furthermore, if you are caught in the lie it makes the situation much worse. if the real reason is so hideous that you cannot even tell your friend; then maybe you need to rethink canceling.
  • apologize, explain, ask to reschedule, and shutup: don't go on and on about why your canceling or how sorry you are. the only thing worse than getting canceled on is getting canceled on and then listening to the person prattle on with five excuses--we get it, your canceling!
  • if you cancel, don't do it next time: if you canceled and you rescheduled, don't cancel again. this is how you  get a reputation for being a flake, and people will not take you seriously in the future or stop making plans with you. you don't want that!
do you have an suggestions on how to be more reliable or what to do if you need to cancel?


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